Quite A New Thing
by Kermit's Sister
Summary: Werewolves, parodies, OC's. Murder, mayhem and mischief. Love, luck... and rubber duckies! The story of a Hogwarts chick from start to finito. It's based quite loosely off of Jan Mc Neville's work The Student in Question. HALTED FOR GOOD! Sorry, y'all.
1. Kelly

Kelly Galena woke up, expecting a normal day at the Pungo Institute for the Magically Gifted (a politically correct way of saying lousy orphanage). She got up, brushed her long dark hair into a high ponytail, and sighed at herself in the mirror. Kelly's eyes were her best feature, colored a bright, arresting grey-green. They were really quite pretty. Other than that, she thought her skin was too freckly and her faintly Grecian nose was too long. She pulled on a red t-shirt and faded, many-patched, extraordinarily frayed blue jeans, followed by a pair of off-white socks with a hole over her left big toe and old, slightly scuffed up tennis shoes that used to belong to someone else about a thousand years ago.

She made the smallish, slightly lumpy twin bed that was against the window, and attempted to tiptoe out so as not to wake her extremely stupid, bitchy roommate who was fat and a Squib and hated her with a passion. She yanked open the door so that the squeaky hinge wouldn't stick and wake Her Most Evil Bitchiness. Kelly thundered up the hall, slid the banister down the stairs, jumped over the threshold and arrived in the canteen where she bolted down a piece of toast and ran to the changing rooms for the Quidditch pitch, pausing there only long enough to pull on her gear and grab the venerable and ancient school broom that she'd been assigned before racing onto the field to be met with disproportionate glares from her team-mates.

The team captain, Jianine Samhill, blew her whistle impatiently. "GOLDEN! YOU'RE CHASER NUMBER TWO TODAY!" she yelled across the pitch as Kelly got on her broom and flew to join the other chasers, Andrew Midget and Sarah Hanson.

Suddenly a handsome, slightly piebald eagle owl fluttered out of the sky, making for the chasers. It paused long enough to drop its letter into Kelly's hand, and then flapped off again.

"Who on earth would actually want to be writing to a sniveling little twit like _YOU_?" The Beater, Jose Riddell, enquired, sneering.

"I really don't have a clue. What concerns me more is why a _sniveling little twit_ such as you would be concerned with who's writing to _me._ Butt out," Kelly called back, struggling to keep her temper in check as she flipped over the letter, glancing at the unfamiliar golden seal pressed firmly into grape-colored wax before reading the address.

Kelly Galena, Selena Hugo Memorial Quidditch Pitch, Pungo Institute for the Magically Gifted, 50 Fleet St, East Side, London

"Hmmm," Kelly mumbled, slitting the seal.

Dear Miss Galena,

You have been selected to be present at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on scholarship. We sincerely hope you shall attend, as Hogwarts is the finest wizarding school in all of Britain and you shall receive an education like none other. A list of the materials you, as a first-year, shall require, is enclosed.

Sincerely,   
Minerva Severna McGonagall,  
Deputy Headmistress

"Oh my God! That's frickin' crazy! They want a, a, a, little tart-to be to attend _Hogwarts_, of all places!" Kelly said, her thoughts drowned out by the loudspeaker.

"WILL MISS GALENA, MR. PIDDLINGTON, MISS MORAN, MR. KNIGHTE, MR. CRANDLE AND MR. BLOTTS REPORT TO THE HEAD'S OFFICE. THAT IS ALL. GOOD DAY."

"GALENA, GO AHEAD!" Jianine called, in the middle of a drill with the Beaters.

Kelly promptly shot straight through an open second- story window as the team continued to practice.

She flitted through the halls at breakneck speed, coming to a screeching halt in the Headmistress' office and nearly removing Zacharias Blotts' head with her foot, sheepishly landing next to the others as the petite yet terrifying headmistress, Madame Caulfield, glared at her.

"What have I told you about flying in the halls, Miss Galena?" She said, sounding quite annoyed.

"Sorry," Kelly said, as Mr. Hornby, (the deputy head) began to speak.

"Now listen up everyone, all of you have gotten your Hogwarts letters, I trust?"

"Yes Mr. Hornby," The small group chorused, waiting impatiently, most of its members if not all fidgeting.

"We will be going to Diagon Alley to get your school things, and when we get back you will all owl Professor McGonagall that you accept. Your train tickets have been already purchased and will be given to you the day before departure. Go get changed and cleaned up, especially you Mr. Knightly," said Madame Caulfield, eyeing his mud- splattered countenance with frustration, exasperation, aggravation, and provocation.

"Go! Shoo! You will meet me in ten minutes in the canteen!" Ms. Chatfield said, as the children left the room.

Kelly went slowly up the stairs, her head reeling. She _had_ done accidental magic, of course- when she was five she accidentally levitated a cup full of boiling water over the head of Lisa Fuller, who had such a severe scalding she had to visit St. Mungo's. Kelly entered her room and tore off her dirty Quidditch things, pulling on a white t-shirt, clean yet still scruffy blue jeans with an enormous hole in the left knee, and the much-mended grey wizard's robes that the orphanage required them to wear on trips.

She stuffed her money pouch and list into her back pocket and buckled her watch on her wrist, heading downstairs.

She thought they might Apparate, but if it was a horrible day and she was _very_ unlucky they would probably floo. "Now!" Ms. Chatfield yelled, causing all movement, noise, and general commotion within at least a thirty-foot radius of her to cease.

"We shall be flooing in this order. Mr. Knightley, first, then Miss Moran, Mr. Piddlington , Mr. Crandle, Mr. Blotts and lastly Miss Galena. When you get there you will _wait_ for me. Understood?" said Madame Caulfield, looking quite fierce.

Michael got a pinch of floo powder out of the small wooden box that Madame Caulfield held out and threw it in the fireplace.

"Diagon Alley!" he said, stepping in and vanishing in a swirl and a rush of green flame.

Finally, after what seemed like multiple eons, all the others had gone and it was Kelly's turn. She got a handful of the pale grey powder, slung it in the fire, and stepped into pleasantly warm emerald-colored flames.

"Diagon Alley!" She yelled, spinning and twirling and bouncing from side to side faster and faster inside the fireplace, watching blurred grates go by until with a very loud thump she landed on a cold flagstone floor, at which her new-ish glasses shattered. She had flooed only once before and ended up in Gringotts Cairo where a nice red-haired man named Bill Weasley had taken her back to the Wizarding Museum Of Natural History. That had been when she was seven.

Ms. Chatfield appeared and sighed impatiently.

"Oh, for heaven's sake! _Reparo_ !" she said, swishing her wand at the glasses in question, which repaired themselves and jumped back onto her face as Ms. Chatfield ushered them into the Alley proper. Their first stop was Ollivander's (Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.)

Everyone else got their wands before she, as apparently they were doing absolutely _everything_ in the order they had arrived.

"Next!" said Mr. Ollivander, motioning vigorously for Kelly to step in front of him on the slightly raised wooden platform.

"Wand arm please!" He said, his drooping mustache adding a comical air to him.

Kelly hemmed and hawed and finally stuck out her left arm, knowing that this meant the hand she wrote with. Mr. Ollivander measured the lengths of her arm and fingers, the length of her right eyebrow, around her elbow, down the middle of her forehead, between her nostrils, across the arch of her left foot and athwart her palm before he hurried into the back store-room, letting the quill he had been using continue to jot notes and the tape continue to measure. In about five minutes he came back with nearly twenty-five long, slender, rather dusty pasteboard boxes piled in his arms.

He grabbed the measure, wound it up, and handed Kelly the first of the wands.

"Ebony, dragon heartstring, supple, fifteen inches! Give it a wave, that's a good girl!" Mr. Ollivander said, watching Kelly as she swiped the wand about in the air, feeling rather foolish. It didn't feel right.

The mirror over Casey Moran's head shattered with a piercing whistle, causing Casey to give Kelly a sympathetic look.

"Oh dear, oh, no, no, no!" Mr. Ollivander said, plucking the first wand out of Kelly's hand and replacing it with a new one.

("Seventeen inches, maple, unicorn tail-hair, sturdy!")

Kelly twirled this one too, causing a vase to jump off an end table and soar not quite completely past Michael Knightly, who caught it, grinning.

"Definitely not!" Mr. Ollivander said indignantly, settling yet another wand in Kelly's hand. The second she touched it all the wand-cases ricocheted out of the window display and hit Andrew Crandle in the head one after another, causing him to fall down. They continued to bombard his prostrate form until Mr. Ollivander snapped his fingers sharply.

"Terribly sorry..." Ollivander trailed off, running off to the back room again and returning with a single box.

Kelly laid the angry wand on the desk, feeling embarrassed as she apologized to Andrew.

"Fifteen inches, holly and mahogany, phoenix feather and basilisk fang core, rather springy and excellent for Transfiguration. Quite similar to another wand or two I sold once upon a time." Mr. Ollivander said rather dreamily, gently laying a dusty wand with a pleasant all-over mahogany finish and an air of mystique in her palm. Not quite unwillingly her fingers closed around it.

She waved it, liking the gentle whoosh in the air around her and the golden glowy sparks that sent her longish bangs into wild disarray and nearly caught them on fire. She stamped out an ember that had caught fire in the carpet.

"A rather temperamental wand, that, but a good choice nevertheless! That's a nearly unique wand, Miss Galena, none other like it around today!" Mr. Ollivander said, happily, hurrying over to the register.

"Fourteen Galleons, three Sickles and two Knuts," Mr. Ollivander requested. Kelly handed him the money, grinning like it was Christmas.

Madame Caulfield bustled her charges out of the wand shop and into Madame Malkin's Fine Robes for All Occasions.

A sales-witch measured each of them, all at the same time, and Madame said something that sounded like "... Never this many to Hogwarts at one time before..." in conversation with Madame Malkin, a slim, sharp-featured, aging witch in flowing black chiffon and silk robes who had just come out of the other fitting area. A bundle containing five charcoal grey, pleated skirts, eight sets of plain black work robes ornamented only with the Hogwarts crest, eight white collared shirts which Kelly made a face at, and one black and white woolly sweater were thrust into Kelly's arms. Kelly gave the required amount of money to Madame Caulfield, who pooled it with the others' and paid Madame Malkin, hurrying them into a nearby apothecary, where they purchased cauldrons, potions kits and ingredient refills.

As soon as they left the apothecary shop, they headed to Flourish and Blotts', where Andrew Crandle said something to Zacharias Blotts about his parentage, causing him to kick Crandle in the shin. A fight would've broken out had Madame Caulfield not taken each boy firmly by the ear and banged their heads together.

Kelly bought her schoolbooks as well as Hogwarts, A History and a few Comics titled "Martin Miggs, The Mad Muggle; Volumes One through Six" and a crescent moon bookmark, which the slightly pimply saleslady said was pure silver.

Her nametag read: ELOISE MIDGEN, PROPRIETOR

The next shop they headed to sold animals; in the display windows were many- even a tortoise with a jeweled shell!

canteen- a British word not in use much in the U.S. meaning cafeteria


	2. Shopping

Here it cometh!

_The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend, then fade to myth, and are long forgotten when that Age comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, and the Fourth Age by those who didn't know any better, a snout stuck out of the mud. The long, slimy, pink snout (which was attached to an elephant's head) burrowed around, snorfling…_

Whoops, wrong beginning. Here goes.

* * *

Kelly decided to wander around the shop until she found something that appealed to her. She stood in front of a cage of live white mice, preoccupied about what Hogwarts would be like. She hoped it would be alright.

Just then, a tallish girl with a pale, pointed face and stylishly cut white-blonde hair shoved her into the side of the mice tank to get to a display of newts that spat multicolored sparks.

"Watch it, Mudblood." The whiter than white, pasty freak shot over her shoulder. Not even a freckle, and not a hair out of place, clad in designer everything form head to toe, the chick just screamed "MUG ME!" Kel snorted. "Watch who you're calling Mudblood, vampire. Looks like you never see the sun. Afraid you'll turn into ash or something?" she retorted.

"Not nearly as afraid that I'll catch malaria from _you_ just by being in the same shop. Honestly, have those robes _ever_ been washed? Looks like you dragged them out of the dishwater after you finished your indentured servitude," Pasty Pale Princess sneered back, her thin, aristocratic lip curling in semi-elegant scorn.

"Do you actually suppose that you have th' _right_ to boss _me_ around?" Kelly mocked, shoving Madmoiselle Insipid over the side of a tank full of snails oozing jewel-bright glowing slime. Luckily, the shop attendant had her back turned. Insipidly Washed-Out Girl screeched as her Gucci robes got into the snail goop and the hems started to dissolve with a faint _hiss_. Too bad the tank was too high up for her to fall all the way in.

Kelly strolled away, whistling, to a display of owl cages.

"Don't mind her, she's a year older than us and thinks she knows _everything_." A boy with completely untidy dark hair and hazel eyeswell-hidden by large, Coke-bottle round glasses popped up in front of Kel, startling her somewhat.

"And you two would be?" she asked, noting the family resemblance between the boy and his friend, who stood to her left.

'I'm James Potter and this," the untidy-haired one indicated the darker-haired one.

"-is Sirius Potter, twin of thickhead there," Sirius said, poking James in the side of the head. His grey eyes twinkled as he brushed his messy bangs out of them.

"You guys want to go look at the grey owls?" Kelly said.

* * *

**And here I should say something about this moment starting a great friendship that would transcend time, or some such. But you, the reader, have lucked out, so no such statement shall happen. Cheerio.**

* * *

"Merlin's underdrawers! Look at him _go_!" Sirius said, pointing to an owl with red-brown feathers, which was swooping around the cage like mad, scaring the tiny grey owls so much they twittered in fear and did their best to stay out of his way.

"Personally, I like that dog better." Kelly said, pointing over to a dog the size of a sofa with long, shaggy black fur and happy brown eyes as three redheaded toddlers of varying ages crawled all over him.

"_That_ one? Oh you don't want him. He's a menace to the furniture, child!" the slight witch who had previously been behind the counter smiled knowingly as she bustled over.

"How much is he?" Sirius asked, glancing at Kelly and James.

"Four Galleons, not a speck more for that creature!" the woman said, scandalized.

"I'll take him," Kelly said firmly, paying the flustered shopkeeper and receiving a red leash-and-collar set, which the lady showed Kelly how to fix the dog up with.

"Sirius! James! Your mum's outside!" A tall man in dark robe came hurrying through the shop.

"Now which owls did you two want?" the man said, smiling at them and casting a surprised look at Kelly and her giant hairball of a dog.

'Who's this?" the man said, smiling.

"I'm Kelly Galena," Kelly said, shaking the hand of the man.

"I'm Harry Potter and those two ruffians," Harry said, pointing to Sirius and James, who each had a midget owl perched on their heads and were walking toward the register, "are my sons."

"Well, nice to meet you- uh, Mr. Potter," Kelly said, seeing Ms. Caulfield looking impatient outside of the shop.

"I have to go," Kelly said regretfully, walking her new dog outside to where everyone was waiting.

"_WHAT_ on earth is that thing? Can't you get your money back?" Madame Caulfield shrieked in exasperation, peering shortsightedly at the dog with a horrified expression.

"No I can't, he's mine and his name's…" Kelly looked at her new pet, her gaze lingering on his huge feet.

"Um... Padfoot," she finished, causing Mr. Potter, who had been watching from the doorway and leaning on the frame to start back in not-so-carefully concealed surprise.

" 'Right then, I _suppose_ I'll just do my best to ignore him," Madam Caulfield said, hurrying them to the nearest Floo point and not even glancing at the new semi-duo once.

Kelly hadlittle trouble getting Padfoot to go into the fireplace with her, surprisingly enough.

Casey Moran, who had bought the angry owl, had an extremely hard time getting it to go in the fireplace.

She cursed violently and colorfully, causing Madam Caulfield to stomp over and slap the back of her head, shrieking, "Language, Casey!" She finally forced him to fly in, and then jumped after the renegade owl, yelping "the Pungo Institute!" while she was attacked by the animal's razor sharp claws.

Soon everyone was safe and sound back in their rooms, and surprisingly enough, nobody but Georgiana Sanders, Kelly's roommate, commented on Padfoot.

("What in the HELL is that mangy beast?")

The days flew by with the assistance of Quidditch practice, taking care of Padfoot, and keeping him out of Madam Caulfield's line of sight. Soon it was time to go to King's Cross, and Kelly was in possession of her ticket, had her trunk packed and was ready to go.

**HermySnape-** I'm glad you noticed Bill!

**Prongs79-** Thank you. Also, I'm sure a large, ugly hippogriff could take care of your wittle bitty sword. Have a nice day.

**Everyone else-** reviews are welcomed and appreciated.

**If you don't tell me what you do or don't like about this story, I _can't_ fix it/ improve it!**

**Note: The following chapters are still under construction.**


	3. Potter and Lupin

Hi guys! Here's the Hogwarts Express, the Sorting Hat, and the Forbidden Forest! Enjoy!

* * *

Kelly and the other Hogwarts students were bustled into King's Cross station and on to Platform 9 3/4 after lunch that day, and from there Kelly got on the train, lugging her trunk behind her, with Padfootsnuffling around and exploring in front of her.

She found a compartment that was empty, settled her trunk in the luggage rack and plopped in one of the seats.

She pulled the magically shrunk bundle Ms. Chatfield had given her out of her pocket and tossed it carelessly into her trunk as well.

Soon the train started to move and a tall girl with reddish- auburn hair stopped in the compartment doorway.

"Hi, Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked, sitting down opposite of Kelly.

"Not at all! I'm Kelly Golden." Kelly said, smiling.

"I'm Michelle Tyler, are you a first- year too?" Michelle said, shaking Kelly's hand.

"Uhh... Yeah I think so. What house do you reckon you'll be in?"she said cheerfully.

"Well, my mum was in Slytherin but my Dad was in Gryffindor, so there's no way of telling really. I just hope we get sorted together so we'll know someone in our House." said Michelle as two nearly identical, dark-haired boys popped in the door.

"James! Sirius! This is Michelle Tyler." Kelly said happily, as the duo stowed their trunks.

"Hi, we're-"

"James and Sirius Potter." James finished, cutting off Sirius.

"Nice to meet ya." Michelle said, staring apprehensively at Kelly's big black dog, James' and Sirius' grey owls, and her own tabby kitten.

"Oh- this is Padfoot." Kelly said, scratching Paddy's ears.

"Oh look. I guess we can't sit here at all, as this compartment is full of traitorous, smelly, idiotic, can't-see-what's-right-in-front-of-them darn foolscum." A drawling voice proclaimed from the doorway.

"Who? Moi?" Michelle said, looking around at her newfound three friends.

"No, the cat." A boy with short, pale blonde hair and a pinched-up expressionsaid sarcastically.

"Michi's kitty's a traitor? I didn't know that." Kelly said, acting stupid.

"No, you idiot. I'm Salazar Malfoy, and you and your idiot pals are the blood-traitors..." Malfoy said quite snottily, leaving the compartment.

"Yeesh!" James said, as Sirius exhaled slowly and winced with everyone else as Padfoot decided to sit in the middle of the compartment floor, on everyone's feet.

"Anything off the cart, dears?" A plump, middle aged witch said, stopping by their compartment with a trolley.

"YES!" They all chorused.

"Um, four pumpkin pasties, eight Chocolate Frogs, and two boxes of Every Flavor beans." Kelly said, as they quickly pooled some money to pay for the sweets.

James paid the trolley witch, being nearest the door, and they received their candies.

"Yum. I wish Mum would keep these around the house." Michelle said, taking a huge bite out of a pumpkin pastie.

"Well, dunno why she dosen't." Sirius said, opening a Chocolate Frog and chasing the little bugger across everyone's laps for the better part of ten minutes.

James finally caught it and handed the chocolate treat, still wriggling, to Sirius.

"Don't lose it again, mate. Yours must have been over-enchanted." Kelly said, sniffing a bright red Bertie Botts' bean carefully, before plunking it in her mouth and promptly gagging.

"Blood-flavored." She explained, spitting it out the open compartment window.

"Ick." Michelle said, polishing off her pastie and grabbing a Frog as well, catching it by the leg before it could hop away, and swallowing it in one gulp.

'Are you a werewolf?" James asked Michi curiously.

"No, my mum took so much Wolfsbane potion while she was pregnant with me it got neutralized." Michelle said, burping.

Padfoot gave the doglike equivalent of a snicker.

"Oi! That was rude, Padfoot!" Kelly said, nudging him with her foot.

"Don't be silly. Dogs don't talk." Michelle said, plopping an electric green Bean in her mouth and grinning.

"Yum. Acid." She said, causing everyone's jaws to drop.

A tall, red-haired boy stopped in the door of their compartment.

"You'd best get you robes on, seeing as we're almost at Hogwarts." He said, polishing his Prefect badge self-consciously.

"Alright, Zach." James said, waving his wand and causing the compartment door to shut with a BANG right in Zach Weasley's face.

"Nice." Sirius said, giving James a high-five.

"Who was that?" Kelly asked curiously.

"Zacharaias Weasley, Uncle Ron and Aunt Padma's oldest pratson." Sirius said dismissively.

"Ooh! The dirty great idiot that Mum talks about all the time?" Michi said, casting a glance toward the door, and turning James and Sirius around by force.

"We're girls, we change first. NO PEEKING." Kelly said, grabbing her robes out of her trunk and throwing them on quickly, buttoning them up before Michelle was done.

Michelle buttoned her last button, poking James on the shoulder.

"We'll turn around now." Kelly said, throwing her sweater in her trunk.

"Okeydokey." Sirius said, as Kelly and Michelle sat down on the opposing bench backwards.

As soon as everyone was dressed, the train ground to a halt and Kelly grabbed her wand and Padfoot's leash.

Everyone got off the train and made their way over to a huge, tall man with a slightly graying dark beard who was shouting "Firs' years over here! Over here!" Over and over again.

"Now, four of yeh to a boat." He said, as Kelly & co. slid down the muddy bank toward a jetty and climbed into a random boat together.

Soon they were in the Entrance Hall, soaked but alive.

Harry Potter was there to greet them.

"Hi guys! Welcome to Hogwarts. The Sorting shall commence soon, and I hope a goodtowerful of you get into Gryffindor!" Harry said cheerfully.

"You lot can call me Professor Potter, yes, even you James and Sirius." Professor Potter said, guiding them into the Great Hall.

A tall, severe looking woman in emerald green robes with her hair pulled back in a bun started calling the names.

"Abercrombie, Sarah"  
A tiny blonde girl walked up and jammed the Sorting Hat on her head, her eyes squeezed shut.

"RAVENCLAW!" The hat shouted, and Abercrombie happily skipped off to the Ravenclaw table, which was cheering.

"Alcott, Will!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Soon it was Kelly's turn.

"Golden, Kelly!"

Kelly walked up to the Sorting Hat and shoved it on her head.

"Hmm... what have we here? You could do very well in Slytherin, but I think... Better be GRYFFINDOR!" the hat shouted, and Kelly ran over to the cheering Gryffindor table, seating herself between Zach Weasley and another first-year the Hat had identified as "Connolly, Douglas!"

Finally there was "Potter, James!" ("GRYFFINDOR!"),

"Potter, Sirius!" ("GRYFFINDOR!")

And the twins came to join the Gryffindor table.

Soon there was "Tyler, Michelle!" (GRYFFINDOR!)

And lastly "Zimmerman, Laura!" (SLYTHERIN!)

Finally everyone was Sorted and Professor McGonagall stood up.

"As usual, the Forbidden Forest is off-limits, bedtime is at ten, and I have only one thing to say-" after a pause, "Don't go near the Whomping Willow!" she smiled, as the students and Professors cheered.

Food magically appeared on all the plates, and Kelly grabbed a chicken breast, some peas and rather a lot of mashed potatoes.

Suddenly, James chuckled. "Let's have a club! Just the four of us!" He said in undertones to his three friends.

"What will we call it?" Michelle said, frowning.

"The Idiots!" Sirius said gleefully.

"The Masqueraders!" James countered.

"The Scroogumfooglits!" said Michelle.

"Future Quidditch Captains!" suggested Kelly.

"Supreme Rulers Of The Universe!" said Sirius.

"Socrates and The Nymphos!" James said, struggling to keep the laughter in as everyone made grossed-out faces.

"Hmmm... The Flying Frying Pan of Doom!" said Kelly randomly.

"No, Socrates and the Nymphos!" James said, the friendly discussion degenerating into an all-out argument.

"The Flying Frying Pan! it could be, you know, kind of a new-agey name!" said Kelly.

"Socrates and the Nymphos!"

"Frying Pan!"

"Nymphos!'

"Frying Pan!"

"NYMPHOS!"

"I know- the Marauders!" Michelle said.

"The Marauders it is!" James said, slapping Kelly on the back and making her choke on her mashed potatoes.

"And what exactly are you going to do in your stupid baby club? Have singalongs and slumber parties?" Said Jedicia Malfoy as she stalked in a rush of highlighted hair out of the Hall.

"What was that about?" Michelle asked, as Jedicia walked off.

Kelly mumbled something about going to bed and then streaked out of the hall, ready to pound Malfoy to bits, but decided a walk would probably be a better idea.  
She ran as hard as she could until she was at nearly the heart of the Forbidden Forest.

"Okay, crap." Kelly said aloud, glancing up at the full moon.  
She started walking, figuring that she'd come out at one side of the Forest, somewhere.  
Suddenly a bloodcurdling howl rent the air.

"Doggone it! A werewolf!" Kelly said, pelting through the forest now, notaware of thebranches scratching her face or underbrush tearing at the hem of her robes.  
There was another howl, closer this time.  
Suddenly a large grey wolf burst out of the trees and into the clearing Kelly was standing in.  
The beast gave another howl and closed in on Kelly, who was trying to climb a tree completely unsuccessfully.

The werewolf bit her leg. "EAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!" Kelly screamed, falling out of the tree, blood gushing from her calf.  
She hit the ground hard and lapsed into unconsciousness.  
The wolf curled up next to her happily, having found a friend.  
Soon the daylight filtered through the trees, and Professor Remus Lupin picked himself up off the ground, noticing a small, pale girl withdeeply ravenhair curled up by his feet in tattered, dirty Hogwarts robes.  
Lupin swore.  
He scooped up the girl gently and set off at a run for Professor Dumbledore's office.

"Albus! I have a problem!" he panted, setting the girl down in a violet chintz armchair.

"I think I may have bitten her." Lupin said, looking at Dumbledore's concerned face.

* * *

Whoo hoo! Cliffy!

REVIEWS ARE WELCOME! FLAME ME!


	4. Wait! It's not really Mungo's!

Yeah, here I am again. Read my new profile! beautiful, no?  
Anywho, I really hate you! Just kidding.

* * *

The sun was blindingly bright. Then all faded to black, and pain. 

Kelly was not quite sure where she was when she finally managed to squeeze open her eyes. It was all white and had a wood floor and a curtain around her bed. Suddenly the curtain was thrown back.  
Three concerned faces stared at her. "Hi, guys." Kelly croaked.

She then passed out. The next few days were like this, waking up for maybe a few minutes or an hour and hearing worried people bustle around her.  
She even thought she heard Ms. Chatfield and the Headmaster having a conversation.

"... can't...allow... might hurt the other children..." She heard Ms. Chatfield say.

" she'll... holidays... here..." Professor Dumbledore said, and then she lapsed into unconciousness again.

The large, furry lump was almost everpresent on the end of her bed. It only got up a few times to pace around the room.

Finally Kelly began to be awake for several hours at a time, fighting the drowsiness Dreamless Sleep potion imbued.

Eventually she became immune to it. For the first time in several weeks, she glanced around her room. There was an enormous pile of papers on the trunk at the foot of the bed, which she surmised was hers.

She got up and began sorting through the pile, which on a closer inspection was revealed to be homework.

She began to walk about the ward for hours at a time each day.

No nurses ever came to check on her, which she thought was unusual as she was obviously in Saint Mungo's.

Eventually Professor Dumbeldore, a shortish woman who looked much like Mitchie and two tallish men, one with flaming red hair and the other with dark gold ( AN: can't say locks... cliche!)entered the room.

"Hello, Miss Golden. As you might have surmised, I am the Headmaster. These people are Cass Tyler, John Tyler and his brother, Smokey." said the lemon drop fanatic with mischeviosly twinking blue eyes.

"Hate to break it to ya, kid. You're one of us," said the strangelychristened Smokey.

"Huh? One of, um, who? And why is your name Smokey? Isn't that an American forest fire bear, or asomething?" asked Kelly confusedly.

"His name's actually George," said the other man, who Kelly assumed was John.

" 'One of us' means you're a werewolf," said Cass bluntly. It slowly dawned on Kelly that everyone in the room except she and Dumbeldore had American accents.

"No, I'm not. Are you from America?" asked Kelly, slightly confused.

"Yes you are. And yes, _we_ are too." Smokey answered, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes you're _what_? Werewolf or American? And no, I'm not." Kelly replied, smirking.

"BOth, and you are," interjected John.

"I am what?" asked Kelly, pretending to be confused.

"You're a werewolf." said Smokey-George.

"No, _you_ are, last time I recollect," said Kelly.

"No, I'm not... I mean yes _I_ am! But you are too," said Smoeky-George.

"What? Make up your mind, you swot. I-" kelly yawned hugely. "Am going to bed."

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon! How long have you been up, exactly!" asked Cass in surprise.

"since-" Kelly yawned again. "Tuesday."

"But it's Monday. Do you mean last Tuesday?" Cass queried, shocked.

"Too-gay he-BOOOOOOOOOOORE- 'at." Kelly yawned, crawling into the bednear the other end of the room.

"How on earthdid you stay up so long?" asked John.

His only answer was a faintly whistling snore.

* * *

Seven hours later...

* * *

Kelly woke up to an empty ward and decided it was time to stop acting like a slob. She got up, put on a cheerful navy blue t-shirt featuring the Beatles' Abbey Road album cover and her favorite raggy pair of nearly-wornout jeans.  
She brushed back her dark brown hair (she dearly wished it could be any color but) and searched around for the door to go out. Finally she found it, strolled down the hall to the vending machine, whistling all the while, and purchased a Frappucino.  
As she was chugging it down, a deep, amused voice said from behind her, 

"I really did wonder about that. But here's proof. Cass, she's a gal after yer own heart," said Smokey dryly.

"GRAPPHGGHHHHHHHHH!" spluttered Kelly, in surprise more than anything else. She whirled around. There, lounging against the wall, were Smokey and Cass.

"Hi, Cass, Smokey-George." mumbled Kelly, surreptitiously vanishing the Frappucino botlle with a panicked bit of wandless magic that she'd recently found out she could do.

"Hi, Kelly. Either Smokey or George is good, but not both," said the aforementioned, stifling an unmanly giggle at the sight of the "Who, me? I didn't have anything to do with it!" look on Kelly's face.

Kelly adopted a hangdog look even more pitiful than the previous one. "Sorry," she mumbled, before looking up, eyes alight with mischief. She started to laugh uncontrollably at the silly looks on the older werewolves' faces.

"Catch me.. IF YOU CAN!" she yelled, racing off, the occasional spare giggle drifting from down the halls. "Graah... I'm still barefoot!" She said aloud to herself as she rounded yet another eggshell-white corridor, glancing down at her pale feet on the age-blackened wood floors. "Hmm... all the faster I can go!" she mumbled joyfully, sprinting still faster. She loved to run. Her ponyail flew out like a banner behind her head, streaming from near the top of her scalp. She wondered what exactly was behind all the other doors that flew by as she raced down the halls, simply reveling in the feeling of running after being unable to do sofor so long. Eventually she came to a staircase; she screeched to a halt, thought for a moment, and tore off down it, too. She came to a nice front hall and realized she was definitely not in Mungo's. She threw the door open and beheld...

Downtown Manhattan. The vivacity of the people rushing by, the taxis and cars speeding every which way, the huge skyscrapers... the screeching police sirens... the sidewalk fruit and hotdog stands... the mimes...Kelly realized she must be in one of the 'scrapersand stepped onto the porch to survey the building. Much to her surprise, it was a humble brownstone which not a _single_ one of the Muggles appeared to notice, peaking out at four stories.

She plopped down on the stoop.

The door opened and an out-of-breath Cass and Smokey stumbled outside as well, clearly about to asphyxiate.

"Boy, can that child run!" gasped Cass, wheezing.

"Merlin's... armpits!" Smokey wheezed back.

'I'm right here, you know. Why do you have a vending machine in your house?" Kelly asked innocently, not a speck tired in the least.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" It was Smokey's turn to jump.

"Hey, it's not just his house you know!" Cass said indignantly.

"It's the Tyler Townhouse!" John piped up.

All three others jumped.

A combined "GYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" issued forth.

"Don't do that, John. You nearly gave me a heart attack, you dumb nut!" said Smokey.

"Sorry," John said, grinning sheepishly.

"Anyways, you're a werewolf." said Cass.

"I believe I was aware of that," said Kelly acidly.

"Hey, hey! No need to get huffy, darkie!" Cass said, amused.

" 'Darkie' ?" Asked Kelly.

"Your hair," explained John.

"Oh," said Kelly.

"So." sighed Smokey, sitting down beside her. "Would you mind terribly being adopted by me?"

"Uh... no, sure! I mean, yes, I mean, what! Really! You would?" Kelly stuttered.

Smokey laughed. "Yes, really," he grinned.

"COOL!" shrieked Kelly, giving Smokey a monster impromptu hug.

"Would I stay with you here? Could I still go to Hogwarts? Would I ever see James and Mitchie and Sirius again? Why do you live in New York? Would I change my name? Would I get my own room? How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a Tootsie pop?" she asked all in one breath.

"Eh?" asked Smokey. "Slow down!"

Kelly decided to settle on just one question. "Would I see Mitchie and Siri and Jamesie again?"

"of course!" said Smokey. That settled it for her. She was really getting to think tthat Smokey was one cool dude.

"I neglected to inform your friends of exactly what happened to you, so you may tell them at your discretion." said John, eyes twinkling.

"But I suggest you do tell them, as Mitchie is a hereditary wolf." said Cass, smirking.

"Er." Kelly could think of absolutely nothing to say. She was gobsmacked.

"What about Padfoot? Can I keep him?" She asked.

"Who?" asked Cass.

"My dog, he's...hugeandfurryandreallyreallydroolywhenhegetsexitedbutpleasecanIkeephim?" Kelly asked, slurring her words together again.

"Yes," laughed Smokey.

"Will I still go to Hogwarts?" she asked.

"Where do you think Mitchie goes?" asked Cass sarcastically.

"Oh. COOL!" Kelly shrieked, hugging Cass.

"So... you are also werewolves. Since Mitchie's hereditary, or whatever, right?" asked Kelly.

"We are also werewolves. And actually, I did this-" Cass confirmed, pulling up her left sleeve to reveal a dark blue, nearly black werewolf's star"So that everybody who discriminated against John would also have to pick their fight with me." She grinned a very scary grin and wiggled her eyebrows up and down, completley spoiling the effect. John slipped his arm around his wife's waist and kissed her cheek.

Kelly was again speechless. "Wow." was all she could think of to say.

"I'm going to do that, too." Her mind was made up, and nothing could dissuade her.

"Whatever it is."

Cass chuckled.

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

There you go. New, improved, and hopefully less Mary-Sue-ish. Idn't Kelly hyper? Must be all the caffeiene. No, she's not named after me, and no, I'm not going to ask for reviews. I am writing this because I want to, now, and not for feedback. I would appreciate it (if you deign to) if youcould tell me what you think of my writing.  
Thanks! Later.


	5. Interlude Or the Attack of Joni

Just a hint of something to keep your lazy minds busy!

* * *

Mitchie was beginning to get worried. Kelly hadn't shown up in several days and hadn't even seen the Gryffindor common room yet! She hadn't attended any classes, hadn't eaten, and hadn't put her things away in her room, which was across the hall from Mitchie's own. Michelle, on the other hand, had all her album covers, drawings, and otherwise offensive material plastered all over the freshly painted sky-blue walls of her own abode. Her record player reposed on a table in the corner and her signed Weird Sisters scrapbook sat next to a framed picture of the Who. Her crazy-quilt bedspread currently was clumped together at the foot of her bed, as Mitchie could rarely be persuaded to make it.

She missed her parents. Thy both had had the same sub for the last few days- the groundskeeper, Hagrid! He'd made the classes surprising, unusual and fairly cool, but still, Mitchie Tyler the First missed her mum.

* * *

Sirius and James had decided to share a room; they were used to it anyway. All their things lay in messy, tangled heaps about the room and on their beds; the newly adobe walls were covered in Quidditch posters and one highly out-of-place picture of Joni Mitchell that belonged to Sirius, who professed that "his love for her would never die".

* * *

Minerva McGonagall, using her Scrying Mirror, peered around the rooms of the newest Ickle Firsties. Mostly what she saw was messiness, dirty socks and complete disarray, but a few things caught her eye, namely the album cover for Firefall's "Clouds Across the Sun". She'd always wanted that one and had never been able to find it. However, this was the Compute Age! She could just trot herself down to the Shrieking Shack, hijack one of the Tylers' machines, and put an ad out on Ebay for it. She trotted off in cat form to do just exactly that.

* * *

Severus Snape moped around in the dungeons. His beloved wife, Hermione, had been off in South America on an ingredients-collecting trip for far too long.

* * *

And there you have it. Just a little interlude. 


End file.
